A Story From The Heart

 I’m overwhelmed with all the feelings and emotional rush right now. Rasa macam baru semalam I tanya “dah makan ke?” dekat launching. Time flies so fast kan? Rindu. I wish there was a stronger word to describe this feeling. Can’t quite find one. Probably never will.  How do people go through this? Is there a manual for it? Why is it easy for you and not me? These questions in my head don’t have answers and its driving me insane! Maybe this is what the actual “calm in the midst of chaos” means. Those words still linger in my head you. Those last 2 things you said. I wish “take care okay” was big enough. Strong enough. Loud enough. To erase “and please mov…”. Damn. I can’t even finish it without my eyes getting wet… I sedih. Itu je I boleh cakap. Doesn’t matter what anyone tells me. Let me feel this emptiness. Who are you to invalidate my feelings??  People say its supposed to be easy. Idk. I have no regrets. I hope so. But I wish things could be better. Hope; —is such a he...

  Effort Ofcourse its too much to ask when you have to beg for it. I tried. For months bukan sekejap tau. Sometimes I feel like I should keep going, sometimes like its time to just stop 😭. Do you hate me? I just wanna feel appreciated. Its been a while since I felt appreciated in something. Hmmm. Maybe I’m not good enough. Idk. I hate the word effort dari dulu. Dia macam that ill feeling towards it as if its something people tend to beg for or people just take for granted and that’s why I hate bringing it up but right now its just so f*cked up in my damn mind.  Harini I kena kerja weekend :( Woke up lepas subuh siap terus gerak. Even ate while driving. Rasa macam picisan nya hidup. Kerja pun nak perhatian to be appreciated more. Rindunya nak mengadu, nak luahkan. Please come back 😔